5 Lessons I learnt from Love
Hey Chic,
Ever since I was a little girl I wanted the Cinderella fairy tale relationship, the one where I wear the cute glass slipper shoes, my knight in shining amour saves me and everything is blissfully perfect. Once you get older however and you experience things you realize that just like the Tooth Fairy not everything in those fairy tales is real.
I am the girl who has always fallen in love with love, I love to receive love and I love to give love. When you have a heart like this you tend to open yourself up to getting hurt, however everything I have experienced with love and relationships in my life has made me the woman I am today and without those experiences I wouldn't be who I am, I have learnt 5 things that I thought I would share with you when it comes to love and relationships.
Love yourself first
Before you can get into any sort of relationship you need to feel secure in who you are as a person and love yourself first. This might sound stupid but trust me it is real, how can you expect to provide another person with love if you haven't learnt how to offer your own self it first?
The process of learning to love yourself is one which will split you open and have you challenged. The result that you will get at the end however will be well worth it and grow you into a better person.
Here are some tips on how you can learn to love yourself
If someone shows you their true colours, you can't change who they are.
No matter how much you want to change someone or how you think it is just a phase, if someone you are in a relationship with shows you who they really are, no one in the world is going to be able to change them. You cannot change someone and if you think you can you will only end up hurting yourself. Would you ever let someone change who you are? No, exactly!
You don't need to be in a relationship to be someone
If you followed the process in Step 1 you would of already realised this by loving yourself but just in case you didn't know you are not more of a person if you have someone else. Being single and you as a person is enough even though sometimes it doesn't feel that way.
You never need another human to make you who you are, you can do that all on your own!
You will stay in a relationship until you have finally had enough
Not your Mother nor best girlfriends will ever be able to convenience you to leave him if you are not ready to.
Trust me on this, you will only end a relationship once you are completely ready. Prior to this you will convince yourself this time it will be different or he has changed, news flash it wont be different, it is only the Honeymoon stage but you have to go through all of that to learn. You have to figure it out on your own.
Don't listen to the advice of people who do not have to live with the results, trust your gut. Eventually you will realize that you can always love someone but that being with them isn't meant to be and that is okay.
If it isn't meant to be it wont
No matter how bad you want anything to work in life if it is not meant to happen it wont.
In the moment you will hate this but one day you will look back and realize why. If he doesn't call you back or prefers to stay out all night with the lads - LET HIM. Clearly he doesn't know how good he has it at home and someone out there will be willing to treat you 1000x better in a heartbeat.
Do not wait for him. The number of nights I sat by the phone waiting for the call or text was endless - screw him go out, live your life and if he is meant to be he will find you, and prove his worth to you.
The right man will bring out the better in you. Sit back and ask yourself is he making you a better person? Does he bring out the best in you? If he brings out that worry or feeling in your stomach, that feeling of always waiting for him. Run. Run girl, and never look back!
At the end of the day you will find your person.
People constantly told me the right person for you is just around the corner. He will appear when you least expect it. "How will I meet him I said?" "It could be as somewhere simple as the supermarket" Mum said. Mum..really? I didnt believer her. I didnt believe anything she had told me about love until everything she said to me happened - clearly now I have realised she is a pretty switched on Chic.
The man I am with today is connected with me so much we know each others thoughts. Our first date I knew he was different. How he talked to me, touched me and most importantly looked at me was different to anything I had ever experieced before I remember thinking 'Fuck, this is it!'
Tyler has never once made me feel anxious or worried, he only ever builds me up, supports me and wants to see me achieve every dream I have. He listens if I am being hormonal and crying about a stupid broken nail and genuinely cares about me.
Wait for it. Wait for the man that makes you feel at home. Wait for the man that fills you up, is on your team, has your back and most importantly is your best friend. Trust me - it is definatly worth it.
